The holding of memorial services, rather than funerals is more common among Quakers, Unitarians, Humanists, and others whose religious faith has less emphasis on creed or ritual. An increasing number of other families, however, are adopting some of the features of memorial services and incorporating them into their ceremonies.

A funeral service by definition is held in the presence of the body, lending the focus of attention on the dead body, while a memorial service typically honors the deceased without the body present and focuses on the life and personality of the deceased. Memorial services can be held in funeral homes, private homes, churches, or favorite places of the deceased. They tend to be ceremonies that the family and friends prepare and conduct themselves, with little involvement of professionals. Since the body may have been cremated or buried shortly after death, family and friends have several weeks to prepare for the service.

Those who utilize memorial services as the sole means of closure generally have the body cremated promptly after death (or provided to a nearby medical research facility). The body is almost never present during the service.

Since memorial services are constructed by the individual family and / or friends to meet their needs and circumstances, there is no memorial service ritual. A friend, family member, community member, funeral director, etc. could be chosen to preside / guide the service. Provided below is a brief outline to help introduce the basic format of a memorial service. More specific details are provided in the sections following for various religious traditions.

Potential Memorial Service Guide

• Opening Words

  Welcome, Introduction and Greeting

• Thoughts on Life and Death

  Readings, Poetry, Prose, and / Music that reflect the circumstances of the person's life and death.

• The Tribute

  Core of the ceremony. Friends and relatives share comments with the attendees.

• The Committal

  Formal words that bring a sense of closure and finality to the family.

• Closing Words
• Music

  Songs which had meaning for the deceased or the family may be performed at any point in the memorial service.

References:

(Irish, Donald. Memorial Services among Quakers and Unitarians, Ethnic Variations in Dying, Death and Grief. Taylor & Francis, 1993)